What Your Starbucks Order Says About You // Chick Chat

July 16, 2014

Welcome to Chick Chat, when two of my best friends and I sit down and discuss topics of the utmost importance.
Think of The View, but 80 years younger. Think of Congress, but 100 times cooler, and wearing pink plaid pajamas. We have opinions and we have snacks.

This week, we're discussing Starbucks Coffee and what we think of the individual drinks and those who order them. This is merely a matter of opinion, and not intended to offend any coffee drinker.

First up, The Strawberry & Crème Frappuccino
Jess: I’m like “why are you at a coffee shop?”

CarlyBahahah exactly. Like it tastes good for like five sips and then it's annoying. 
Monotonous and too sweet.

Emily: Yea and not even caffeinated.
It's not even coffee.

Jess: It's a milkshake. Go to Tropical Smoothie or something.

Emily: And so not worth the $5.

Jess: I feel like only tweens drink them.

Emily: Yea because they aren't really into coffee but want to look cool.

Jess: or their moms say they can’t have coffee *laughing emoji*

Carly: Exactly. They think they're hot sh*t going to Starbucks spending mom and dads money getting a frilly drink. Wait til you're 21 and get a daiquiri, then you can have a frilly drink.

Caramel Macchiato

Jess: I think it’s like “hey look everyone, my coffee is ombre”

Emily: This person is not complicated. They like simple things.

Carly: Haha I think it says I like caramel and I like to say fun words.

"Just a Water"

Emily: You either want to be healthy and just need a quick thirst quencher or you're a broke college kid who can't afford coffee.

Carly: I'm thirsty as f*ck and this was the first place I found that I could buy a drink at.

Jess: haha! I’ve done that!
or it could mean “I just want to carry around this cup. It looks good with my outfit.”

Pumpkin Spice Latte (AKA #PSL)

Jess: I’m not a fan.
Not really interested in drinking pie.

CarlyAgain, tastes good for five sips and then I'm done. Not a huge fan.

Emily: Neither am I. I love pumpkin pie but not in liquid form and it's too much in the spice side for me.

Jess: I think it’s one of those drinks you either love or hate.

CarlyI seriously don't get why people go bat sh*t crazy for it.

Jess: I think you have to be wearing Ugg boots to be able to enjoy it fully. Maybe that’s why I can’t appreciate it.

Emily: Haha maybe 

CarlySee I've drank one while wearing Uggs, but it didn't do it for me. 
Although mine were Target brand Uggs lol

I want a chocolate cinnamon iced latte with two pumps of raspberry, no whip, steamed milk, shaken, no ice, 16 pumps of mocha, an expresso shot, and extra whip.

Carly: You're a f*cking entitled asshole.

Emily: Pipe down and just get something off the menu. 
I can understand getting soy instead of milk but adding all the shots and sh*t...calm down

Jess: I saw somewhere that the most expensive drink ever ordered was like $49.

Carly: It is Starbucks so it's understood that your order can or may be several words long, but if you have more than 5 specifications, go away and come back when you've figured out what drink that is on the menu that you actually want.

What We Order

Emily: I love getting the white mocha frappe with and extra shot of espresso and two shots of raspberry

Jess: I always get a “venti, unsweetened black iced tea with light ice.” Yeah, that is a mouthful, but it’s literally just tea. In winter, I'll get the Peppermint Mocha. That's my stuff right there.

Carly: I am the easiest motha truck to ever come through there. I either get a grande sweetened green tea lemonade or a tall mocha frappe and an iced lemon pound cake.

What is your favorite Starbucks order?
Is there any drink that you have a strong opinion about?
What do you think of Chick Chat? Should it be a regular feature?


  1. Since I worked at Starbucks for two years I should probably write a book about customer behaviour, what people drink and how they order it can be SO revealing. Most annoying customers:
    1. Who want something vegan (who the hell goes to Starbucks, big American franchise, when being vegan I don't get this. And then they are disappointed all the fancy drinks are not really vegan. No, also not the Chai latte.)
    2. Who order Chai Latte. Think they are too cool for coffee. They ALWAYS ask if we use sirup or the "real deal" (sirup, come on, its a franchise not an indie café).
    3. Who order Soymilk or Nonfat (Now I do drink Soymilk myself but every every every customer is like I want SOYMILK. Did you get that??? SOYMILK. Very important. And 1min later (although barista usually says the drink out loud) Is that really SOYMILK??) I never got those people. Asking once is fine but come on, baristas are not retarded.
    4. Everyone who orders 10 Frappuccino when its rush hour because they are just the hell to make and take forever.
    I think I could go on forever and ever with this list! One obviously needs a strong mind for working there because a lot of strange people are attracted to Starbucks. At least at main station in Berlin where I worked ;) That being sad, have a nice day and hope you enjoy and tip the baristas accordingly :D *have a heart for broken barista lol*

  2. HAHA my best friend and I talk about this all the time! I have a super similar opinion of the fraps with zero caffeine in them. My drink is a quad (4 shots) iced venti non fat no whip white mocha in summer and the same but hot in the fall/winter and if I'm feeling extra crazy I'll get a shot of raspberry in it too (only when hot!). Besides that I usually just get iced coffee.

  3. The American menu is so different! I get a mango passionfruit frappe or a vanilla spice hot chocolate. What does that say about me?
    Water Painted Dreams xo

  4. I usually go for an iced soy latte but I'm totally one of those annoying people who loves pumpkin spiced lattes ;)

  5. This is a fun blog post! My favorite starbucks drink is mocha frappichino, but when I am not in the mood for so much sugar I will get a venti iced coffee.

  6. Haha, loved reading your analysis!


  7. Hahah, these were pretty accurate!!


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