Think of The View, but 80 years younger. Think of Congress, but 100 times cooler, and wearing pink plaid pajamas. We have opinions and we have snacks.
This week, we're discussing Starbucks Coffee and what we think of the individual drinks and those who order them. This is merely a matter of opinion, and not intended to offend any coffee drinker.
First up, The Strawberry & Crème Frappuccino
Jess: I’m like “why are you at a coffee shop?”
Carly: Bahahah exactly. Like it tastes good for like five sips and then it's annoying.
Monotonous and too sweet.
Emily: Yea and not even caffeinated.
It's not even coffee.
Jess: It's a milkshake. Go to Tropical Smoothie or something.
Emily: And so not worth the $5.
Jess: I feel like only tweens drink them.
Emily: Yea because they aren't really into coffee but want to look cool.
Jess: or their moms say they can’t have coffee *laughing emoji*
Carly: Exactly. They think they're hot sh*t going to Starbucks spending mom and dads money getting a frilly drink. Wait til you're 21 and get a daiquiri, then you can have a frilly drink.
Jess: I think it’s like “hey look everyone, my coffee is ombre”
Emily: This person is not complicated. They like simple things.
Carly: Haha I think it says I like caramel and I like to say fun words.
"Just a Water"
Emily: You either want to be healthy and just need a quick thirst quencher or you're a broke college kid who can't afford coffee.
Carly: I'm thirsty as f*ck and this was the first place I found that I could buy a drink at.
Jess: haha! I’ve done that!
or it could mean “I just want to carry around this cup. It looks good with my outfit.”
Pumpkin Spice Latte (AKA #PSL)
Jess: I’m not a fan.
Not really interested in drinking pie.
Carly: Again, tastes good for five sips and then I'm done. Not a huge fan.
Emily: Neither am I. I love pumpkin pie but not in liquid form and it's too much in the spice side for me.
Jess: I think it’s one of those drinks you either love or hate.
Carly: I seriously don't get why people go bat sh*t crazy for it.
Jess: I think you have to be wearing Ugg boots to be able to enjoy it fully. Maybe that’s why I can’t appreciate it.
Emily: Haha maybe
Carly: See I've drank one while wearing Uggs, but it didn't do it for me.
Although mine were Target brand Uggs lol
I want a chocolate cinnamon iced latte with two pumps of raspberry, no whip, steamed milk, shaken, no ice, 16 pumps of mocha, an expresso shot, and extra whip.
Carly: You're a f*cking entitled asshole.
Emily: Pipe down and just get something off the menu.
I can understand getting soy instead of milk but adding all the shots and sh*t...calm down
Jess: I saw somewhere that the most expensive drink ever ordered was like $49.
Carly: It is Starbucks so it's understood that your order can or may be several words long, but if you have more than 5 specifications, go away and come back when you've figured out what drink that is on the menu that you actually want.
What We Order
Emily: I love getting the white mocha frappe with and extra shot of espresso and two shots of raspberry
Jess: I always get a “venti, unsweetened black iced tea with light ice.” Yeah, that is a mouthful, but it’s literally just tea. In winter, I'll get the Peppermint Mocha. That's my stuff right there.
Carly: I am the easiest motha truck to ever come through there. I either get a grande sweetened green tea lemonade or a tall mocha frappe and an iced lemon pound cake.
What is your favorite Starbucks order?
Is there any drink that you have a strong opinion about?
What do you think of Chick Chat? Should it be a regular feature?