The Berenstein Bears Conspiracy // What Should We Believe?

August 25, 2015



Recently it's come to light that our beloved childhood anthropomorphic Bear family, the Bearenstein bears may actually have a different name than we remembered. A while back, somewhere deep in the internet, someone posted a photo of one of the books and found that they were quite unfamilliar. The namesake of the books we'd all grown to know and love actually spelled BerenSTAIN, not BerenSTEIN. Like a historical and childhood-ruining Hermione Granger, this change in pronunciation has me all sorts of messed up.

There is virtually no record of the spelling BerenSTEIN ever having existed. All the old books from the 80s and 90s sport the BerenSTAIN spelling. Modern licensed products like this use the STAIN spelling. Something is going on here, and it's not good.

So here's the question. Do you remember BerenSTEIN or BerenSTAIN? 
If you said the former, there are a variety of explanations for the cause of this, and I will get to those in just a second. If you said the latter, please click away. You are most likely from an alternate dimension and I'm not sure what cross-dimensional traffic will do to my blog's domain or server. Thank you. I'm sure there's a suitable Writing in Red Lipstick alternative on the other side of the universe.

 

The 4 Explanations:

Time Travelers
One of the most widely discussed possible causes for this new spelling (STAIN) is that sometime in the past 10 years, a time traveler created a small glitch that changed the spelling of the Berenstein Bears. That would explain all of us remembering it as BerenSTEIN, and would also explain why all of our old copies of the books now boast the new BerenSTAIN spelling.

Crossing into a New Dimension
This theory is a little harder for me to understand because my knowlege of math and physics and all that is extremely limited, but you can find an in-depth explanation here. To put it in layman's terms, something happened in the fabric of our universe, causing us to switch over into another dimension, and one of the only signifiers of this is that we all remember the STEIN spelling. Our memories are the only remaining proof that the old dimension existed.

Illuminati / Government Interference
This one is similar to the time travel theory, but states that some bigger power, like the Government / CIA / Illuminati / New World Order / Lizard People found a way to retroactively change the spelling as an experiment to see what we would notice. They're likely changing other things all around us as well, to distract us from what is really going on.


The least likely of all:
We're All Just Dumb
I don't believe for a second that the majority of people who were alive in the 80s and 90s are all just idiots. This theory states that it's always been STAIN, we were just too dumb to realize it. I'm certain that this is what THEY WANT US TO THINK. You mean to tell me, that 6 year old Jess (who was in an advanced reading group, mind you) wouldn't know the difference between an E sound and an A sound? Please. Children learning to read are taught to look for the differences in letters and pronounciation, and I distinctly remember reading the BerenSTEIN Bears. What's next? Changing it to Dr. Zeuss? Emelia Bedelia? Junie P. Jones? The Foxcar Children? I'm not an idiot. I know my alphabet.

In my opinion, it always has, was, and always will be spelled and pronounced Berenstein. There is no changing my mind.

What do you think of this conspiracy?
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

7 comments

  1. I heard about this a few weeks ago, and I thought surely, surely this is somebodies idea of a sick joke. Of course it has always been STEIN. I would have bet my soul on it. I owned just about every copy as a child and they're tucked away in my mom's attic. I want to go dig them out, but also at the same time I'm scared. Scared that they have been sucked away into the alternate universe and replaced with the false copies!

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  2. I've been thinking about this... a lot... and it's just SO WEIRD. We may never know the true answer...

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  3. WHATTTT it's totally Berenstein Bears and I still buy those books for my daughter!!! How the hell have I never known it was an A?

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  4. Does anyone have a book from their childhood that is titled Berenstein Bears? or is that too easy?
    lol...

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    1. AnonymousJuly 31, 2016

      We do, but too many morons faked pictures online to make the controversy worse. Many of us have the books to look at and understand we have not been crazy.

      As for the mechanism... who knows? It can be as simple as a change for semetic reasons but the shame of this perception-based change would upset many. Not only for telling people they are crazy, but in the sense that "ein" would be changed to "ain" for such a dumb reason.

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  5. Soo not alive in 80s or 90s and still remember the Stein not stain

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  6. AnonymousJune 10, 2016

    ARE YOU CRAZY ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND

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