Y'all, adulting is hard. It's really hard. I've been a legal adult for going on four years now, and I find myself wondering how I ever made it through. I'd like to think of my time as an adult has been ultra-productive and full of life experience, when in reality I've been staying up too late and watching too much YouTube. I'd like to think I've developed at least some skill that will eventually put me ahead in life, but looking back over the past four years, it just seems like a really drawn out blooper reel.
So, if you'd like to achieve the same level of quasi-adulthood that has become my standard, break out your sweatpants and follow these 15 simple steps:
1. Don't even think about refilling your gas tank until the light's been on for a few days. You're not a quitter.
2. If you don't want to wash dishes, you can always throw them away and buy new ones.
3. The time is always right to try that new restaurant, beer, coffee shop, or makeup product. You do need new Instagram content a few times a week to keep your profile fresh, you know.
4. If you're afraid to call the doctors office to make appointments, find a way to make them online. If you can't do that, just avoid the doctor altogether, you're probably fine. Certain bones just have to heal themselves anyway.
5. Need new work clothes? Remember, that really impractical item you want is way more "you" than some boring blazer. Treat yo self!
6. Netflix binges totally count as meditation. You've had a hard week.
7. Leggings are most definitely pants. Semi-formal even.
8. Making a Pinterest board about something is basically like achieving it in real life. So get pinning! That future wedding isn't going to plan itself!
9. Washing your hair more than 3 times a week is highly overrated.
10. Focus on the truly important things like having a signature fragrance and finding the perfect jeans. Taxes can wait.
11. Taco Bell is totally an acceptable date. Especially if they buy you Cinnabon Delights.
12. Only skip class (or social obligations, work, etc.) if you really need to sleep in. Let's be honest, you probably deserve it.
13. Impress everyone who's really into music by saying "their first album was their best" whenever they bring up a band they're into. This works with movies too, if you mention "how stunning the cinematography was."
14. Plants are the lazy person's pet, and succulents are the perfect lazy person's plant. You don't even have to water them, and they're super hip right now.
15. Label things. Or put them in jars. It will make people think you have your shit together.
Are you currently living by any of these rules?